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`Thursday n Friday(:

Thursday was fun fun(:
Had to stay back in school for the fun fair trial thingum and cca.
And it was raining so SM and i sent SWL to the bus stop and went over to my crib to leave my bag.
Then i went to buy ice-cream(:
Eating ice-cream and playing in the rain is like the BEST(:
Stupid SM keep on running to all the sheltered places,damn ass can!
Haha i had fun despite getting all the weird stares from the people in the bus-stop(:
Fun fair trial went smooth.
Lg made me laugh so much that i was rolling on the floor laughing.
Haha.

Friday(:
Fell down at home on Thursday night and landed on my knee):
Best thing was that i took Morning run with the pain.
How dumb,pain got worse):
Art was like so unexpected,he didn't scold us(Me and SWL)
Then math-ed.
Math was a blast(:
SWL and i were singing high school musical songs esp,we're breaking free over and over again.
Felt cold so i took out my jacket then me and SWL were sharing the jacket like she one hand and i one.
Haha.
Then break followed by PE and break 2.
Geog was fun.
S couldn't make it for Tamil today so no Tamil class(:
Went Compass with SWL and SM.
BK-ed and walked around.
Home-ed.

Thats about it.
Weekends are really damn screwed.
So sad can hafta go to Tampinese stadium cause apparently we won something.(SWL,SM,S and ME)
That means i cant watch High School musical.
On the bright side............... and Matt is helping me borrow the High School DVD.Yay(:

When you walk away i count the steps that you take..

`Sad day):

Heyo people.
Another useless-fied and emo post.
School was okay.
I just realized when you never actually want to see a particular person or when you tend to see someone you actually happen to see them the most.
Drats,double drats.
Actually i don't really understand someone now.
Dude you were so nice and loving what happen?
I mean you said you would always be there for me now you don't even bother about me when you walk past me what more console me?
Hah,hilarious.
You know something stop it with the bullshit contradictions cause I'm over it(gonna be over it,hopefully)
Its like each time i see you,my mood plunges down badly.
Then i recover and once again i see you.
!@##$!$%$$%%.

Like seriously man today is such a sad day.
Shobi's having cramps,some people giving me shit attitude and i just heard that my neighbour is like terribly sick and that the doc has only given her 24-48hours to live.
Seriously why must people die,its sucha sad thing.
Furthermore i love her,she's so sweet and lovely(:
*Cries*
And i asked my mum,"mummy would she be able to live slightly longer like for 2 more days or something?"
And my mum said no.
Though 2 days aint much of a difference i think it will obviously matter to her and her family and ME(:

On the bright side the only thing that makes me happy is playing with Shenna BELATED BELATED birthday gift for me(:Thanks dearie for spending forty bucks just so i will smile.
Oh and dearie i really love you though you are so dumb,deaf ,blind and forgetful and i know you love me the most.*ahems*

Okay so i'm at home alone now.
Parents left to visit her,Matt will be back late):
My back+ass bone very pain sia.
I want to go already.
Bye bye(:

When you left I lost a part of me
Is this so hard to believe
Come back baby please 'cause
We belong together
Who else am I gonna lean on
when times get rough
Who’s gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who’s gonna take your place
There ain’t nobody better
We belong together(:

Hmm..school has been pretty much the same and Shobi has been feeling worse):
I' feeling even more lonely and loser-fied.
I need to some how get back my old self cause i'm completely losing it now):
The above verse is meant for a friend.
Man do i want her back cause she was the only one whom i could lean on when times got rough now i'm alone no one.
Despite her fuck shit attitude no can replace her.
So i'm facing everything alone.
So let me tell you something you guys if Shobi does something stupid to herself once more if any fuckers dare to get angry ah..i will slap their faces.
Cause its dammit obvious you guys don't care coz if you did i wont be feeling like this right?
I'm plainly sick and tired of being treated as a fucking second fiddle.
Though i have faced this quite a number of times i just cant seem to save a piece of myself coz every time it i feel even more hurt.
I guess i hafta live with this fact that that everyone who claims that they love me don't love me at all.
Fucking liars.
And to my dear readers in future if you tell someone or promise someone that you will be there no matter what,please keep the promise.
Don't be like the people around me okay?
Yeah don't wish to continue.

`Wednesday(:

Life For me is Not the Same
There's no One to turn to
Dont know why i let it go too far
Starting over it's so hard
Seems like everywhere I try to go
I keep thinking of you

The verse above the ones that i high lighted are the lines that best suit what I'm feeling now.
I'm feeling absolutely horrible.
I don't know how to explain why am i feeling so low,insecure and a complete loner.
Andand a complete loser.
Why dude why tell me no one is treating me fairly now.
Broke down badly after school and outside school felt really dumb thanks shenna for the longgg hug and letting me cry it out while i hugged you,love you.
Can i just quit,quit from school,home and even my life.
The only thing that keeps flashing on my mind is a penknife.
Tonight I'm breaking my promise to ya'll.
Sorry but its not easy everywhere i turn some sort of problems...
Call me a coward for not facing my problems but you guys just don't understand neither will you guys ever understand.
In school I'm just acting all ego but deep down only i know....
So tonight I'm stopping with the ego act and with the happy act,hate me or love me i dont care cause i know everyone alr hates me so no diff right if i be myself.
I just wonder that if i die will anyone even shed a drop of tear for me?
Doubt it,hah own sister already wishes that i was dead what more anyone else eh?
Anyway my online happy pill thanks for always listening to me and my problems dude.
So sweet that you're dropping by to say HI.
And i will help you with ahems.
Love ya.
I truly hope and pray that shenna will do well for her event.
Peace out ya'll.

Baby hold me close and let me cry out...

`Friday(:

Yes yes skipped school yesterday cause wasn't feeling well.
Stomach was giving me problems,pain and vomiting.
Doctor said it was due to missing my meals and stuff/:
And if i don't take care it might get worse like getting ulcers in my stomach)):

School today was alright.
If not for those people in my Tamil class i think i will die la,they make it so entertaining(:
Anyhoos SM was so emo during Tamil):
Cheer up la,don't be so hard on yourself okay?
Shobi is there for you too(:

Damn la walked back home alone and i started breaking down.
Took the lift so many times up and down to get my emotions back to a stable a level coz dad's at home and i didn't want him to know anything.Just went toilet straight and broke down again.
I hate the way that i am feeling now.
I just can't stand you*,contradicting bitch.
Wadeves bitch no one can take my place so its your fucking lost(:
That what i keep telling myself but i just don't get it you might as well just say it straight in my face then to behave like this right?
Just as i have thrown you out of my life you entered now you just leave again.
Wtf is you bloody problem eh?
My online happy pill a.k.a ash faster come online.
Shobi needs you and i miss you too):

So why wont you get out of my life?

`Thursday(:

This is gonna be a really short post.
Gave school a miss yada yada...
Will update about that on my next post.

Anyhoos this is gonna be a dedication for SWL a.k.a SHENNA(:
Dearie please cheer up(:
Dont be sad it makes me really sad to see you like this.
And don't quit now that you have come so far,you can definitely do it and i will be right behind you all the way to cheer you.
So yeah..
CHEER UP DARL.
You promised you will always be there right?
And like what i promised i will be there for you no matter wat.
LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU CHICKA.
*Huggies and kisses*

`Wednesday(:

I'm all sick again.
In school especially during geography i was like oh damn i think I'm gonna puke.
And i was suppose to be doing the graded assignment,damn can.
Can just say bye bye to that 10%.
School was fun excluding me being sick.

After school ate ice-cream and guess wat the moment i stepped into my house i ran to the toilet and puked/:
Felt really dizzy so slept for 2 hours,woke up and puked again.
And i cant stand the assholes,bloody bias shit.
Wadeves la think I'm fibbing for all i care hopefully i faint in school or something tomorrow maybe then they will realize.
C'mon la do you think i gain a damn thing from faking my illness?
You think i wanna go doc and get a MC to rest?
I rather go school then stay at home esp that you're at home tomorrow.
Sucker.

Anyhoos good luck SWL and SM for your competition tomorrow.
I'm so gonna miss Shenna.
Must you miss school?!
Love you loads dearie.
And you still owe me a birthday gift):
And SM you better not emo or I'm gonna kill you!

BABY, I can only help but wonder what life would be without you

`Tuesday(:

Back to school today.
School was fun i suppose.
With Shenna's constant retard-ness.
Lame sia.
PE was damn shit can?
I'm starting to hate PE lessons thanks to T.
And during Math Shenna and i were laughing like no one's business.
After school saw Sivvy she's off to go out with D to buy for me my gift(:
And my treat is on Thursday hmm i think i got CCA.
Not sure maybe will skip CCA!!
Better feel honored ah Sivvy.

Damn i think i ate something wrong because i have been vomitting/:
Ice-cream i suppose?
Yucks i hate vomittiing):
Last night my dream was superb!!
Dream of BA,AHEMS,J AND K(:
What a weird combination of people together!But it was still awesome.
Man if only dreams come true!

Thats about it.
I feel like puking again/:

I miss you so bad that i can't sleep..

`Shitass.

Was debating if i should make breakfast or blog.
Went to make pancakes for myself and now blogging!
Haha.
Anyhoos woke up early so that i can bathe,make breakfast and blog in time for OC.
Damn hell there's no OC today but some Diana thingum.
Arghhhh.
So much for waking up early.
I'm just gonna rot at home la,how can they do this??!
The day that I'm at home the tv programme sucks bigg time.
I dont even have my phone with me to text sugar.
Neither can i call her cause she had to go back to school.

Anyways this whole weekend i have been really down.
Had a really bad breakdown on Friday.
I like lost faith in everything even praying.
And i got scolded from SM for saying that but hey thats e fact.
So on Saturday i sat down trying to work my problems out.
Guess I'm trying to clear some mental space.
I actually wrote a poem about something that has been bugging me alot and wanted to post but decided to go against that.
I have enough problems already cause for sure there will be other problems if i post that on my blog.

I just wonder,
Do you ever,
Think of me,
Anymore, do you?